Part of being clever through your separation is protecting yourself, in a legal sense of course, but also emotionally.
Technology and social media have undoubtedly changed the way, people, part ways. With the touch of a button, we now can potentially see what our former partner is doing and who he or she is spending time with. On the other hand, they can see your movements, too. Separation and divorce can turn the most level-headed individual into someone who punishes themselves far too frequently by looking at an ex’s accounts and forgetting that Instalife isn’t real life.
With regard to your own heart, seeing your former partner seemingly getting on with their life, while you are still feeling stuck, can be very painful. For this reason, it is a good idea to block that person from your social media accounts while your emotions are still raw. It is so easy to become fixated on the other person instead of focusing on moving towards your own new life.
Of course, if you feel like continuing to be ‘friends’ or if ‘following’ that person will have no impact on your emotional wellbeing, then, by all means, remain connected. If this is the case, good for you!
The other reason that blocking your ex-partner from your social media is a sensible idea is it can legally protect you and you are freer to post, be tagged, or the like without the judgment of your ex-partner.
I have witnessed all kinds of negative behavior while trying to negotiate clients’ property divisions or parenting arrangements, such as buying a car and splashing it on social media, only for that to reveal that a client has not been honest in the discovery process, or a new relationship evolves that causes negotiations to become inflammatory.
Being witness to posts of you enjoying your life can stir your ex-partner’s emotions — anger, negativity, and resentment that can really impact on proceedings. When you are trying to achieve results and outcomes through negotiations, it’s best to keep things as calm and friendly as possible.
Keep this in mind too: family law advocates always look at the Facebook or Instagram accounts of clients and their exes to search for context and evidence such as drinking (or worse) around the children, or what holiday you may have spent money on to prove the need for an addback in a property settlement. Be aware of your privacy settings and what you are posting. You never know who is looking or what kinds of things may be used against you. Be smart, be clever!