Sometimes, whether one or both of you wanted the divorce, when you start discussing the terms, things can get very messy.
You might be surprised to hear that amicable divorces happen all the time. Whilst not necessarily easy, they are possible.
At Caldwell Family Lawyers on the Gold Coast, we have put together a few tips to help you have an amicable divorce.
Work Together for the Benefit of the Children
When separating parties have children, emotions often run high. This can make it more difficult to have an amicable divorce.
The best thing you can do for your children and yourselves is to draft a parenting plan that sets out who the children will live with and how much time they will spend with the other parent. Whilst each party might have their reasons, it’s important that each decision is made with the children’s best interests at heart. The children having a relationship with both parents is important.
Talk about where the children should live, how each parent can see the children and how they will be financially supported. By having these talks before you enter the more legal route you can hopefully both work out a plan that is best for the children and both parties. By going straight through the courts, it can break the trust and dissolve any chance of a reasonable and rational outcome as both parties tend to take a defensive stance.
Mediation is the best way to keep on track, whilst also keeping the courts out of your affairs.
Get Some Knowledge
By reading up on divorce and knowing the basics you will be better prepared to make informed decisions.
Talk to Someone
Sometimes you might be part of divorce proceedings and it is not a decision you’ve made. This can make the process a lot harder. You might be feeling angry, bitter, hurt and in some cases betrayed. Instead of taking these feelings into divorce proceedings it might be advisable to talk with a therapist. This will allow an outlet for your feelings, so you can have a clear head when it comes to discussing your divorce. A long-fought out feud will only make the process of moving on a lot harder.
Go in with very realistic expectations. An amicable divorce is usually one that is fair to both parties, and by expecting more than is fair can often lead to resentment and talks can quickly turn sour.
Fighting fire with fire won’t get anyone anywhere fast. If your partner has decided they don’t want to be amicable that doesn’t mean you don’t have to be. Hopefully the more level-headed you are the more they will come to realise how unreasonable they are being. Even if the other party doesn’t back down, by keeping your composure you can retain some sanity throughout the proceedings.
Divorce proceedings often become lengthy and hostile when people play the blame game. Enemy lines go up and moving forward becomes a lot harder when you are still negotiating the terms of your divorce. An amicable divorce might mean that you put your feelings to one side to organise the finer details. Take time out and take a breath if something is getting to you, a little distance can provide a clearer perspective.
You might not know what to do, but we will. Collective Family Lawyers on the Gold Coast are here to assist you with moving forward with your life, whilst providing exceptional legal advice along the way.